Miley Cyrus

Stage II Hemorrhoids?

So first off im 18 and ive known ive had hemorrhoids for 3-4 years and they havent bled bad for atleast a year but somtimes after i use the restroom i notice alittle blood on the toilet paper. I researched it alittle today and i think my hemorrhoids are stage two but they arent as horrifying as the pictures i saw on google when i searched hemorrhoid images. When they swell alittle they bleed but dont hurt and when they shrink and tighten i havent noticed and blood but they hurt and are quite sore they make sitting and moving around alot hard and painful work. Now i dont know anything about hemorrhoids so i just would like to know if you can treat or get rid of hemorrhoids and if so how. Ive never told anyone about this and im extremely embarresed about it so please no hurtful answers and please dont put an answer unless you 100% sure its true thank you for your help sincerly thankful guy in need.

Could I still be pregnant even if I had my period which was over 10 days late?

I have irregular periods, but i usually get it around 33 days. I got my period this month around 40 days. I felt like i could be pregnant, but got my period (kinda light and lasted 5 days) so I assumed I wasn’t. My question is could i still be pregnant? 2 days ago i noticed hemorrhoids! I have no appetite. Can you get an implantation bleed that late? Yes I had unprotected sex but he did not have an orgasm, so i know all about the pre….whatever whatever can still get you pregnant.

Is this still considered constipation?

I don’t even know what’s going on with me but for a while I’ve been pooping little balls. I do poop every day at least and sometimes twice but it’s still always little balls and I feel like I can’t empty completely. I’ve tried to eat more fiber and it’s still balls. There’s no pain when I go and I was checked out for hemorrhoids and everything.

I’m only 20 so I’m assuming this isn’t bowel cancer, although I did have blood in my stool once about 4 months ago caused by a fissure.

Should I just try a laxative? What’s going on here?

Pooped and blood suddenly came out. What\’s happening?

My anus had been hurting for a while, and blood just suddenly coming out after I went to the washroom.
My mother told me that it was cause I was eating too much junk food, but there seemed to be a lot of blood. I have an external hemorrhoid but nothing like this ever happened before.
The blood was red, like fresh blood from a cut kind. And I will not be able to go to the doctors at least until Saturday.

Why does by butt hole itch?

*Serious answers only!*

About a week ago by butt hole started to itch. The itching comes and goes at random times. I’ve done some research and I know if I actually do have worms, they cause terrible itching at night. However, I don’t have horribly annoying itching at night that’s described on all these websites.
Earlier this week, my butt hole would hurt and itch if I sat, so I got some hemorrhoids wipes, but it’s still itching. I don’t have loss of appetite like I would if I had worms also. In fact, I’m hungry all the time sooo… Anyway, as of now, my butt hole is just itchy like it needs a good scratch. I’m a fairly clean person. I always wipe after I go the bathroom. Am I not getting it clean enough? Do I actually have hemorrhoids, worms, or what?
Also, today it just itches like crazy and won’t stop. I’ve tried by hemorrhoids wipes, and wiped with TP. What’s going on?????
In addition to all that, earlier this week, it had somewhat of a burning itchy feeling. I have never had sex so it can’t be STDs.
My diet consists of a sandwich a day and recently I’ve been eating apples. I don’t like spicy foods, so that can’t be causing this.
I also eat more than that, but considering gluten can be a factor, I added what gluten things I eat and others that could cause this.

Anal or rectal cancer?

Hello I am a 30 year old female with no kids. I’m very embarrassed and I hope I don’t have cancer.
I have suffered with constipation my whole life. I never ate much fiber. About 3 years ago, I remember having an extremely large stool that would not pass. I strained badly to get it out. It caused extreme pain for days. I bled badly from it and bright red blood was in the toilet. I was scared and went to the doctor. He said it was hemorrhoids without examining me. He prescribed that I eat fiber. After that I changed me eating patterns and ate fiber. The symptoms went away for months. I only notice the blood after constipation, which was rare after I changed my eating habits.
Then last year I had the same problem again after falling off my fiber diet. It felt like I ripped my anus, and I saw lots of blood. The doctor did a rectal exam 1 year ago and she stuck her fingers in my rectum. She said they were hemorrhoids and to take a stool softener and to apply the prescription steroid hemorrhoids medicine. I did that and I was fine again.
So this week, I suffered from constipation after eating improperly for about a week. The stool was hard and painful to get out. There was blood in the toilet. My anus feels ripped when I push the stool out. I often feel a fleshy lump on my rectum after straining, but it goes away a day later.
I rarely have stomach aches or pains. Its just really hard to past stool when im not eating fell. Then the blood comes. Then my anus hurts for a day or 2. It doesn’t itch much or cause stomach pain. The blood is always on one side of the stool.
I do not have insurance, and cannot afford a colonostrophy (sp?)

I have been diagnosed with a high risk strand of vaginal HPV, but I have a normal pap smear result each year. I also have been diagnosed with hemorrhoids.

What should I do? Does it sound like cancer?

What does the fifth chapter of the book of pages say about Atheist Fundieism?

Have atheist fundies read the book of pages chapter 5?
Chapter 5.0 General Failure Meets Thor God of Love And his PiWrites (Hint… The dwarf has a lisp….)

5.0 Just when Gen. Failure thought things couldn’t get any worse than having his head stuck waste deep in Uranus. He felt something… in his anus yes his anus not Uranus. It made his hemorrhoid feel like an Assteroid in his anus hurting like you just hoped onto a bicycle with a car cigarette lighter for a seat.

5.1 And just like that poop Uranus gave afterbirth to General Failure and he was born again or as they say in Uranus **** happens. To his udder disbelief he discovers Uranus was filled with crunchy peanut butter.

5.2 After prying his eyes open General Failure sees before him A dwarf with his head up his butt riding a winged pink giraffe who’s head is also up her butt named Dun’ go, Mung! The Thunacorn. And says Excthuth me I am Thor the PiWrite and Uranuth will be tho thor you won’t thit down for weekth. Speaking like Jim Carry saying read my lips.

5.3 Gen. Failure looking as baffled as Adam and Eve on Mother’s Day thought what an odd little man with a funny accent. So you are the Pirate Sore,… Wes I am Thor. Said Sore. Well if you are a Pirate Sore where are your Buccaneers? They’re on my buckin’ head, open your buckin’ eyes!

5.4 But you have your head so far up your butt you look like an atheist fundie at a baptism party… My head is up my buckin butt? How do wu know thith. With that Gen. Failure Pulled The Dwarf’s Sore head out of his butt with a rather loud pop which sounded more like a fart from a distance.

5.5 At that moment a very tiny dim sun broke through the clouds and winged ears came from the heavens listening to Wellawuya! Wellawuya! Well a,a wu ya…

5.6 Thor after getting used to the light asked how do I look? Not wanting to be rude and say you have a face like a squeezed tea bag and a nose as warn as worn out as a cucumber in a convent.

5.7 Why can thee, why can thee its miracle it’s a… ok what athhole painted my horth Dun’ go, Mung! Thunacorn pink? Who names a giraffe dun’ go mung? Well her name wath just Mung but one day I fell off and said Don’ go Mung and she didn’t.

5.8 With that Gen Failure Bid Thor Good bye. And Said is there anything I can do to repay you for pulling me out of Uranus? Yes Don’ go Mung… Her twot, her twot, I want to see her twot! Really…what an odd request… Don’ go Mung is that Korean or something? And what cruel bugger put an “s” in Lisp?

5.9 With that General Failure picks up Thor the dwarf and drives him head first into the giraffe’s twot which is tighter than a camels butt in a sandstorm… And promptly leaves for space again And says I now pronounce you Thor God Of Love… NOOO!!! Mr. Gen Failure… I think I better weephrase that…I’d like to thee her gallop, gallop you fool thee her twot! Hello Hello!!!

A Dieus Amigos.

The Book of Pages it is written: By His Funniness, Atheos Fun Deius, Gawdy of all atheist fundies.

Y,all men

How to make haemorrhoids stop hurting and itching?

Yusef’s grapes are especially problematic when we are making love. Is there anything that can be done? Can they be surgically removed?

Would you go to the ER if you were bleeding from the anus?

I don’t have any haemorrhoids so it’s not that.

Last year around this same time this happened, I was bleeding really badly. I was hospitalizing for two days but they never figured out what was wrong with me. It’s happening again. Should I go back?

I do have diverticulitis but they said they didn’t think that was the problem last year.

I’ve been feeling really sick for the last 30 or so hours and going to the bathroom a LOT, it’s all very oily yellow/orange/black diarrhea.

I’m kind of freaked out. If this was you, would you go to the ER?

do hemorrhoids go away (TMI WARING)?

i pooped 4-7 times today (its tht time of the month) and now have a hemorrhoid it is small will it go away on itz own , do i need to buy sumthin for it like wht do i do to make it go away